What do you say when you're told to "Give yourself permission to be ok..."? A simple phrase that's easy to interpret and comprehend when heard or read, right? Of course it is. But go figure I'd be the one to sit and ponder this for hours...MANY HOURS! I was feeling so broken and hurt that I heard it but, I wasn't sure I was understanding the message in the words I was hearing.

This is me.The me I always wanted to be! The me I knew was inside but seemed so hard to find. As a child (6 or 7) I remember a friend's pool party- everyone was wearing cute bathing suits. All of a sudden, the modest bikini I had worn felt like it was calling all attention to me because I was the little chubby kid and after all, even if you were a child you still needed to be 'skinny' to wear one of THOSE.  So began my lifelong battle with food, emotional eating and my continuous weight battle.

Ever been in a place where you've felt trapped? Well I have. More lately than ever. I work from home full time, have 2 part time side jobs and live in a small apartment with my 9 month old son, Carter. Often times I find myself glancing out the window as the day goes by, as if I'm in a jail cell and the ever growing list of tasks at hand starts to overwhelm me. It got to a point where it was really starting to weigh on me on a daily basis.

The "Weight Loss Failure Stamp!" Ever felt like you've been branded, marked or scarred with a "weight loss failure stamp?" It's right there on your forehead for everyone to see....you have failed! Obviously, you assume it shows all over your body as well! It seeps out of your size 20 jeans....I've been there! I had tried every diet possible! Pre made and frozen foods, meal plans,  weekly meetings and group weigh ins! If I could get the weight off, it wouldn't stay off! I never saw my goal....

One thing I have loved so much about the Grace and Strength lifestyle is the accountability that is available. Something that I have thought a lot about throughout my G&S journey is how I could have made the choice to lie and not wrote everything down in my food logs. I could have lied and made up a weight loss instead of a gain. I could have hidden everything I was ashamed of and made it look like I had everything under control, when really on the inside I was a mess.