Think about how often food is offered during times of sadness. A little kid skins their knee when they fall off their bike, you offer them a cookie and all is right with the world again. You get a shot at the doctor's office and they give you a lollipop because you were so brave.

We have been trained since we were little kids to equate food with feeling better. We learn to eat to shove down our emotions. Food becomes our comfort; it makes the hurt go way. What happens when a loved one passes away? Friends and family bring food to "comfort" you.

We have been trained to feel loved, to allow the food to comfort us in our time of need. It's easy to see how easily sadness and emotional eating have become synonymous in so many lives.

My Own Journey with Sadness and Emotional Eating

I remember the time in my life where I experienced the unbearable pain of complete sorrow. My husband and I were in the middle of our journey to become parents. We had to face the scary facts of infertility, of losing our foster babies back to a broken system, and accept that what we thought would be a possible adoption would in reality never be ours.

It was the loneliest four years of my life. I can't imagine a deeper sorrow for myself, than the roller coaster ride that we endured through those dark valleys of our marriage. There were days that I didn't think that I could breathe. I didn't understand how I could have tears left to cry ... yet they kept slipping down my cheeks.

I lost hope. I lost the desire to keep moving on. I remember feeling like my heart was being ripped apart. And so I ate .... I ate to take away the pain. I ate to feel numb. I ate because it was the only thing that I could actually control. I ate because if felt like I was able to function in some sort of normal way. I ate to fill a void.

Sadness: affected by unhappiness or grief, sorrowful or mournful

Did Food Take Away the Pain?

Did it work? Nope ... It made me fatter, which caused more sorrow and a deeper depression, which made me eat more. It was a vicious cycle ... and I knew that I had to do something. I wanted to live a life worth living, and the way that I was currently living my life was really no life at all.

I realized that the first step in being released from all the sorrow that had consumed my heart was to let go. God wasn't punishing me; he just had something better for my life that I wasn't willing to accept at the time. I had to let go of what I thought was the desire of my heart and seek his heart instead.

I had to allow HIM to comfort my broken heart, not food. I had to allow HIM to fill me with peace, not food. I had to stop trying to dictate and control the path that He was trying to take me on. Sorrow is always going to bring those why me questions. Sorrow is natural, even Jesus wept .... But he didn't allow it to control his life.

Healing

The story of the healing at the pool found in John 5 has been a recurring passage in my quiet time lately. (Go read it!) I've read this story countless times, and each time something new always catches my attention. The part that I can't quit reading is when Jesus asked the invalid man, "Do you want to get well?"

Here was this disabled man who had been sitting next to a pool of water for thirty-eight years, that was said would heal the first person that entered it when the waters were stirred. I'm pretty sure he wasn't just sitting there for the fun of it. He was obviously there hoping that his circumstances would change ... but did he really want it?

When I think back to when we were facing the nightmare of possibly never becoming parents I wanted more than anything to have the sorrow taken away. But to me taking away sorrow meant that I would become pregnant. It would mean that I would have an easy journey to "mommy-hood" like all my other girlfriends seemed to have.

I was still playing the "It's not fair" card, and God just wasn't willing to play with me. I keep relating myself, my journey, my sorrow with this disabled man. No I'm not physically disabled in any way ... but I was emotionally disabled. I might as well have been an invalid during those four years of my life.

God was asking me if I wanted to get well too. He was asking me if I was willing to trust him with the deepest part of my life. He was asking if I wanted to "get well" in every aspect of my life. I wonder if He has been asking you the same question.

Synonyms of the word invalid: unacceptable, worthless, void

Could those be words that Satan has been whispering in your ear? They sound pretty familiar to me. The question is, are you going to believe them?

What is causing you to become invalid?

The big question that I had to ask myself and what I am now asking you is .... Do you want to get well? I ask this because we can all be offered different options to help us find the peace we are longing for. There are counselors, coaches, diet plans, financial assistance, rehab programs ... whatever it is that would fit your need. But the ultimate counselor and the only one that can take away your sorrow is God.

You can't expect a change in your life until you are willing to surrender it all to him. Don't let sadness and emotional eating win, take the outstretched hand and begin your own journey to healing.

View The Other Posts in the Emotional Eating Series

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* Individual results may vary.