Jenna's Story

Big Idea: God is patiently waiting for you at the place you are denying Him access.

Everyone has "that place, or I sometimes call it "that thing." It's that thing you don't want to truly turn all the way-all the way over to God. Probably because you're afraid He'll ask you to go further than you want to go (or to let go of more than you want to let go...give up more than you want to give up). If you're afraid to commit to this program because you don't think you can do it, but you're desperate to try...you're in just the right place! The hardest part? Getting the courage to commit/join. My mind knew that I couldn't do it; that it could work for others but not me. As unbelievable as it sounds, committing to the boundaries and restrictions of the Grace and Strength program gave me more freedom than I thought possible by forcing me to turn my weaknesses (i.e. self-control) over to God and rely on him to help me do something that hadn't otherwise been doable for me. It felt too hard for me to do on my own. Duh, it was suppose to be... so I'd have to seek God for help! God already knows that this is your thing, and He loves you anyway and is waiting patiently for you to let go and fall back into His strength for help. He's waiting for you to come down the path He is on; not the path he's close to or to a path very similar, but THE path! And when you do, you'll experience His presence like never before and you'll wonder why you ever resisted so long!

For me "that thing" is living within boundaries. I used to pride myself in recognizing life is full of areas that require balance. While this is very true, I viewed myself as "too balanced to use boundaries." I think this was my way to avoid depriving myself of indulging on impulses & living within appropriate boundaries. Through lack of boundaries I had gradually continued to gain weight throughout my adult, married life and had physically grown larger than the spirit I held inside. Have you ever seen a picture of yourself or walked by a reflection of yourself and thought, "Geez! I don't feel THAT big!"? I had. I was confident and happy, yet whenever I'd do small group Bible studies I'd think … "maybe God has more in mind for me?" I was starting to consider maybe I'm getting in the way of all I'm meant to get from (and give to) this life? Because God is invisible, it's pretty easy to push past those messages and continue indulging. It's easy to believe you're over-thinking it, or reading more into it than is really there. I read once, How do you know when God is trying to tell you something? It ties in with scripture and He'll start reminding you more often.

God grabbed a hold of me when I began being in the word with integrity. I see this type of reading much differently than just reading the Bible; it requires your heart to be in the right place. For me, I'm sometimes guilty of reading the Bible but it's nothing more than going through the motions because I'm just reading words and not internalizing or reflecting. I had never realized how effective the Bible is at communicating a present-day message! There are also the times I read the Bible and am more focused on how God's word needs to fix other people. Although GS didn't show me how to do this, it did commit me to a faith-based program that pushed me into God's word.

An example of how "being in the word with integrity" looks for me...first I pray for God to still my mind and open my heart and head in order to experience the message He needs me to get. I tell the evil one to flee; that he may not be present where God dwells and to take his lies with him! Then I read the words with the desire and intent for the message to change and guide my heart; as well as I read with the intent of being obedient.

What happened next was I started to hear the Word speaking to me... Eph 2: "we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind," Eph 5: "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you," Eph 4: "to put off your old self...and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds." I was now able to hear these messages as they pertained to me! For me, "Passions of our flesh" was the food/drink I wanted in the moment. Using boundaries and living within what my body needed rather than wanted was right where God was waiting for me. I was the one who needed to "awake" and join the life God was calling me to and "arise from the dead" so He could "shine" on me! I started seeing these types of messages whenever I would be in the word.

Do not love the world....1 John 2(15-17):

For all that is in the world-the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life-is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

Yet another time while reading in Romans Ch. 9 I discovered a connection to my big idea.

God is patiently waiting for you at the place you are denying Him access.

Verses 30-32 state, "That Gentiles who did not pursue righteousness have attained it, that is, a righteousness that is by faith; but that Israel who pursued a law that would lead to righteousness did not succeed in reaching that law. Why? Because they did not pursue it by faith, but as if it were based on works. They have stumbled over the stumbling stone."

When I process this message, I hear God reminding me of 2 things: "righteousness" is my heart's goal for my earthly journey, but it also represents my end goal in this weight loss journey. The diets I've done before have had rules to follow(laws) and boundaries to stay within just like GS. The difference is, the GS journey pushed me toward my end goal through the path of faith and relying on God's strength to succeed.

Now that I'm progressing beyond my weight loss goals I'd love to say that I was cured and would never again need to learn lessons or would struggle, but...now when I struggle I'll remember God, and his love for me. He wants me to stay close to him for the rest of my days. Challenges will provide me with opportunities to look up beyond my worldly wants and fix my eyes on the love from above. By seeking my vision through faith, God will ensure I stay awake and experience the life He has planned for me; the one He audaciously loves. The same is true for you, my friend.

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* Individual results may vary.