In her own words:

Emotional Eater...

I have sat at my computer many times attempting to write out my Grace and Strength journey. However, I never could do it until today. Not sure exactly why, other than God was finally ready for me to write it out. Throughout my G & S journey, one word has reigned in my mind "Self-control". Webster dictionary defines self-control as the ability to control oneself, in particular one's emotions and desires to the expression of them in one's behavior especially in difficult situations. Oh wow that definitely speaks volumes to me! It speaks volumes to me because my eating had no self-control.

My family has a history of obesity. So, my mom attempted to teach me early on about watching what I eat. My mom was a "lifetime" member of weight watchers and followed their plan until the day she died. I was able to control my weight up until my life dramatically changed in June of 1998. My 2 ½ year old son died unexpectedly. It was during this dramatic life changer, that I began to use food as an emotional filler. I began to gain weight and then would try to lose it on every fad diet there was. However, I really never addressed the reason, I never surrendered or repented of my overeating to the Lord, I never addressed or repented my sin of self-control, and I never addressed the fact that when I am emotionally unstable I need to seek the Lord for fulfillment instead of eating food.

So, the biggest reason I originally joined G & S was when I went to the doctor and he said he wanted to increase my blood pressure medication. I was like NO! I decided that day I needed to make a change. I had previously read several of G & S testimonies and saw the program work in some women I knew. So, I decided it was time for ME to get healthy. So, I emailed G & S and my journey began. A journey that was going to revamp me physically, mentally, and spiritually. Earlier on in one of our Bible studies I can remember Monica saying that overeating was a sin, a heart issue, and direct disobedience to the Lord. Wow!! I never really heard anyone say overeating was a "sin". So, I began to really think about that and pray about it. The Lord brought the verse in Galatians that speaks about the fruits of the Spirit. Self-control, OUCH! This was the very verse I had taught my daughter to memorize because she was struggling with self-control in her behavior. I had never really thought of self control as in eating. The Lord revealed to me that my overeating was in direct disobedience to Him. It actually had become an "Idol". This was a turning point for me. I spent a lot of time on my knees repenting and crying out to the Lord.

During this journey I learned something in every phase. Phase one, I learned just how bad you feel when you eat unhealthy food. Phase 2, I relearned how good healthy food taste. Phase 3 I learned how much clean, healthy food you have to eat to get 1500 calories in. How refreshing it is to eat the fresh fruits, vegetable, and meats that God gave us. Who would ever thought I would admit that. How good clean healthy food taste. Only God!

I was so encouraged every week in the Bible study to hear other women say they had some of the same issues as me. Also, the Bible studies reminded me that I need to start my day off by being in the Word, have balance, learn my food triggers and how to address them, recognize Idols in my life, and having a strong foundation. My coach, was so patient, kind, firm, direct, and held me accountable. Oh, how I desperately needed all of those things. I can honestly say that this journey has brought me closer to the Lord, it has made me physically stronger, and emotionally stronger. I am so thankful for G & S. I know that I will battle with the flesh till Jesus returns, however, I know that I can also count on my G & S community to walk along side me and keep me accountable.

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* Individual results may vary.