- The Grace and Strength Lifestyle
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Heidi's Christian Weight Loss Journey -In Her Own Words-
My Grace and Strength journey started long before I ever heard about the Grace and Strength Lifestyle. I am the youngest of two and was raised in a Christian home where I was introduced to Jesus at a very early age. Growing up, it became very clear that my metabolism and my sister's metabolism worked in very different ways. We had "hand-me-up's" instead of "hand-me-down's" since I was always bigger than my sister. She was petite and slender and I was a chunk. I remember my dad warning our pastor about how heavy I was when I was preparing to be baptized.
Shopping for clothing was never a fun experience. Everything that was super cute and fashionable came in my sister's size and looked great on her and I had to go to the women's section and find something that was "flattering" to my figure. I was "the fat girl", I didn't date in high school or college because who wants to date the fat girl, and I learned that if I was having a really bad day, I felt better if I grabbed a couple of cookies or a big bowl of ice cream. Lunch at school would be a package of cracker sandwiches and a diet soda. Physical activity was next to nothing. There was some effort toward losing weight in college, but there would be a disappointment or hormones or depression and I would turn to food for comfort.
Turning 30 was one of the hardest things I'd been through. I was still living with my parents, I wasn't married (and had no prospects of finding a husband), I was very overweight and hated how I looked, and I had some decisions to make. I had watched several of my friends marry to get away from their family situations or for stability or because it was expected and I watched those relationships fail. I made the decision that I would rather be single for the remainder of my life than marry for the sake of being married and be miserable because I'd be in a relationship that God never had planned for me. This was one of the first steps I took toward a goal I didn't even know I had . . . health.
I was on thyroid medication—hypothyroidism runs in my family—and initially I lost about 30 pounds between that and studying Taw Kwon Do. Emotional eating, however, brought those 30 pounds back with a few friends. I worked at being more active, riding my bike, running (not an easy thing at 240ish pounds), and doing exercise tapes at home. None of it worked to get significant weight off.
In 2010, I moved from Wisconsin to Washington and lived with my aunt for several months while I was looking for a job. I started walking a couple miles most morning and with an aunt who cooked a lot more veggies than I was used to, I lost 30 pounds or so. My parents' house in Wisconsin sold and they moved out to Washington and I moved back in with them and my eating habits reverted to what they had been. I started working full-time and didn't have time for my morning walks anymore and the weight I'd lost came right back.
Over the next few years, I tried several different weight management programs—supplements, Weight Watchers, etc. I'd lose some then I'd plateau, get frustrated, and eat my frustration. During this time, I was also working through a lot of emotional issues and reevaluating my overall health, not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. I was coming to terms with the fact that I am an introvert and that isn't going to change; that while I was talented in several areas, I wasn't as talented as some others I looked up to; that my life was never going to be the fantasy I had as a teenager. I realized that in a lot of areas, I had a lot of growing up to do and started making some decisions about the type of person I wanted to be.
Through all of this, I was a volunteer youth worker first in Wisconsin, then here in Washington. As I grew, I loved the idea of sharing what I was learning and how I was growing with young ladies and maybe preventing them from struggling as I had. However, there was still a voice in my head that questioned the example I was setting for my girls in the area of food and physical health.
In spite of the disappointments and seeming failures I'd been going through, there was one thing that I knew above all else: God is God and He is in total control of all things at all times. This caused some of my inner turmoil, because why would a loving God allow me to be this fat? Why wouldn't He bring a man into my life who would love me whatever the scale said? Why wouldn't God allow me to have more success in my efforts to lose weight? Much ice cream and cake was consumed as a result of these questions and my feelings that God was silent and uncaring about all of them.
Then, my friend, Bekah, started posting stuff about this Grace and Strength Lifestyle thingie. It took me a little while but I started asking questions about the program and the more questions I asked, the more the answers lined up with the goals that I was formulating for myself. Being skinny without addressing the issues that got me fat would never work long-term because as soon as my discipline lapsed, I'd gain back whatever I'd lost. I knew I needed to change from the inside out. I started praying about Grace and Strength and the more I prayed, the more the Holy Spirit impressed on my heart that I needed to do this and I needed to do this now because if I didn't get these issues under control now, I never really would.
I called Bekah and took that step . . . and what a step it has been . . .
I lost 85 pounds in 6 months and 19 days. I have gained a deeper faith in my God and the love He has for me. I have gained the knowledge and experience of the strength available to me through my Heavenly Father. I have gained more self-discipline than I ever thought myself capable of. I have gained new friendships that I pray will continue beyond Grace and Strength. I had lunch with a friend yesterday who I hadn't seen since her wedding 2 weeks before I started GNS. We talked about this journey I've been on and her comment was that while she could see that I'd physically lost weight, she could also see that I'd been freed on the inside, too. I have worked hard to become the person I want to be. I have wrestled with God about my circumstances and cried out to Him in my depths. Grace and Strength has given me new tools in this ongoing work that is the growth and maturity of Heidi Sturgeon.
When a building is renovated, it is frequently covered with scaffolding and TyVek wrap while the inside is torn apart and rebuilt. Then, the new exterior is put on and the scaffolding comes down and everyone gets to see all the work that has taken place. I feel like, for the first time in my life, I'm approaching a place where my outside is starting to match my inside and because of that, I can give of myself more freely to those God has put into my life. I am by no means complete. I still have lessons to learn and difficulties to weather but I still know one thing to be true: God is God and He is in total control of everything at all times. I'm starting to understand that a bit better, though...
* Individual results may vary.
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