Like so many others, I have tried so many, many programs to lose weight. And they have worked to some extent, but always I have gained it back. I have even tried several spiritual based programs. But I tend toward legalism. I am a perfectionist. When I mess up I have a really hard time forgiving myself. So when the leader of my last spiritual-based program said "Even one extra bite of food is a sin," I freaked out. My mind started on a tape that said, "Is this it; is this the extra bite?" I didn't want to sin against God, but I had no freedom in eating. I became so obsessed with the idea of sinning, that I became mentally and physically ill. And eventually I couldn't do it anymore and I quit trying to please God. I decided I couldn't do it anyway, so why try? That was more than 15 years ago. I've tried three secular programs since and lost a little, then gained most of it back.

Grace and Strength is NOT a legalistic approach.  In fact, over the past four months, I have learned that when I make "not sinning" my focus, I become tired and stressed.  As before, I can't live like that.  Instead, my focus MUST be my relationship with God (See John 15)  "Not Sinning" is not what pleases God.  (That sounds almost blasphemous, doesn't it?)  What pleases Him is faith!  By developing my relationship with Him, I begin to see how much He loves me and I begin to change, from the inside, to become more like Him.

Now let me clarify … there are rules to follow in order to lose weight.  But I have never felt as if there is some entity poised to smack me when I mess up.  In fact the opposite has been true … my sweet coach Anna has been there to encourage and help me see that a mistake (even sin) is not a death knell for my journey.

Losing all this weight has been exciting and gratifying and sometimes I admit that it has been my total focus.  But God in His patience and love has drawn me back to the real lessons from this journey.  And for me the main lesson is to welcome Godly sorrow and even guilt, but to reject Satan's attempts to derail my Christian growth.

Recently, I began reading Max Lucado's new book Before Amen: the Power of a Simple Prayer. While thumbing through it I noticed this "pull-out" quote: "Confession is not a punishment for sin; it is an isolation of sin so it can be exposed and extracted."  It reminded me of the verse I alluded to above (2 Corinthians 7:10-NIV): Godly sorrow leads to repentance that leads to salvation, but worldly sorrow brings death.   For years I've wondered the difference between godly sorrow and worldly sorrow, because when I mess up I walk around with a load of guilt for DAYS.  Lucado's book, along with a book I've had for years (Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges), has put that into perspective (I am a slow learner and have spiritual ADD).  First is recognizing God's love for us and his grace.  Jesus paid for EVERY sin.  That doesn't free us to do whatever we want, but it gives us the remedy.  Guilt is the symptom that God uses to point out our sin.  But we have to deal with it God's way.  Worldly sorrow is when we take our guilt and let Satan turn it on us so that we think such things as:  "I know God will not forgive me for this again," and "I can't quit doing this; I must not really be a Christian."  Godly sorrow leads us to turn to God, to repent with specifics (agree with God that it was wrong), then give God the guilt and trust Him to help us to start over.

A friend of mine posted a sermon outline on her Facebook page a few days ago.  I think it totally sums up how God wants me to develop my relationship with Him, based on John 15.

Come to the Father and say:

• I can't -- can't love, can't forgive, can't overcome.
• I yield -- surrender, give to Christ : emotions, soul, EVERYTHING;
• I trust -- I can't but Christ CAN!

If you remain (abide) in Me and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you. (John 15:7)

Friends, G&S has given me a new life -- improved health, a freedom in eating the right foods, and, more importantly, a freedom in living for God.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not the new person that God means for me to be … that is, like Christ. I continue to have lapses; I continue to discover sin in my life.  But I know that He is infinitely able to take my messups and grow me into a reflection of his glory.  I hold onto Isaiah 46:11 -- "What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do."

He has great plans for you and me.  Let Him do it.

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* Individual results may vary.